In my previous article, I talked about the importance of perceiving intuition, thinking, and bodily consciousness as they are from the meta-consciousness, and that this is called self-congruence, and that self-trust is a state of unconditional belief in oneself that comes from being able to “self-congruence” at any time.
So far, I have talked about what self-trust is, and in this article, I would like to tell you more about self-trust by talking about what it is NOT.
The difference between “trust” and “credit”
The words trust and credit have similar meanings, but contain different nuances. If we look up the dictionary, we will find the following explanation.
praise, approval, or honor
To believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you, or that something is safe and reliable
Certainly, it can be taken in a similar sense, but credit seems to have a stronger nuance of “accepting as certain.” And when we actually use it, we feel a subtle difference in nuance.
We say “ relationship of mutual trust,” but we don’t often say “relationship of mutual credit.”
We say “credit card,” but we don’t say “trust card.”
In short, “trust” has a stronger nuance of unconditional reliance. From here on, it’s just my opinion, but I define “self-trust” and “self-credit” as follows.
Definition of self-trust (Ochiai’s idea):
To put unconditional reliance on oneself
Definition of self-credit (Ochiai’s idea):
To put conditional reliance on oneself
Unconditional trust is a trust without any objective basis, as when a parent trusts his or her child. It is a way of thinking that acknowledges the existence of a person without any evidence that he or she is okay.
In contrast, conditional credit involves a judgment based on some evidence. Education and work experience are typical examples, as are assets and social status. Judgments based on past experiences, such as “I have been successful in the past” or “I have worked so hard” are also conditional credit.
In a previous article, I introduced an episode where Ms. N, an employee, asked me the following question. I would like to reintroduce the content.
After a meeting with a client, I was having dinner with Ms. N, an employee who was working on a project with me, and she asked me a question.
“Do you trust yourself, Bunshiro-san?”
In the meeting with the client, we had been discussing human relations and mutual trust in the workplace, so it was natural that the theme of trust would come up, but I was a little surprised that the question was directed at myself.
“Yes, I do. I have trust in myself. I’m somewhat confident that I can do it if I put my mind to it.”
It was then that Ms. N said this to me.
“Would you say the same thing if Bunshiro Ochiai was not the president of Alue, did not come from BCG, and did not have a graduate degree?”
My answer at the time was “No”.
To explain this conversation by using the words “ self-trust” and “ self-credit” interchangeably, Ms. N’s question is asking me whether I have “self-trust.” In response, I said, “Based on my past experiences, I have confidence that I can do it if I want to”, which means I do have “self-credit.”
Ms. N recognized the difference between self-trust and self-credit and asked, “Would you still be self-trusting if you didn’t have all these titles and accomplishments?”
Piling up conditional “self-credit” can make us lose sight of who we really are
Self-credit, that is, the conditional reliance on oneself, is not a bad thing. In fact, it is desirable in some respects because it means that there is some foundation for it, and that it is recognized by ourselves, others, and society.
However, it is not recommended to pursue only “ self-credit” when “self-trust” has not been developed.
Feel anxious if I’m not studying.
Feel anxious if I’m not thinking about work 24/7.
Feel anxious if I don’t have any friends.
Feel anxious if I don’t belong to a famous company.
This situation is a typical example of pursuing some kind of evidence to believe in yourself. This was true for myself as well. For a while after I started my business, when I was asked why I started my business, I said, “To prove my existence. In other words, I want to create a difference between the world when I was there and the world when I was not there.”
In hindsight, I can say that I was in pursuit of self-credit.In short, without “self-trust,” we might go into a mode of proving our own existence by our own actions and achievements, or by the standards of others.
We must get good grades in school.
When we finish school, we must join a good company.
A president must act like a president.
It’s easy to get into this “I must” mode. When we are in this “I must” mode, we lose sight of the subjective truth, the voice of our true heart.
There was a time when I myself felt so strongly about my responsibility as president that I lost a sense of unity with the people around me and had trouble managing the organization. This sense of responsibility as the president created a vicious cycle, and I lost sight of what I really wanted to do with my colleagues through the company.
My own story (2): “The President’s Isolation” that I created by myself
Last time, I talked about the subjective truth based on my own experience of starting a business. This time, I would…
Through various opportunities such as coaching sessions, I became able to see myself objectively as I really am. Then, I began to think of myself as “true myself” regardless of my position as president.
This is a memo of my reflections based on the coaching session at that time.
▼ Have both your 55-year-old self (God Father) and your current self (Boy), and be aware of both senses.
▼ Do not seek perfection in your current self. Value your 35-year old self (note: I was 35 years old at the time) as if it were a child.
▼ By being aware of God Father and Boy without mixing them, it is possible to interact with the external world in a more natural way.
▼ Value the Boy’s will and intuition. Nurture that will/intuition.
▼ Watch over it closely with the eyes of the God Father.
It may be a little confusing, so I will add an explanation. In terms of the metaphor of the film actor and the film director, the Boy here is the same as the position of the film actor, and the God Father is the position of the film director.
At the time, I mentioned that I valued both perspectives by having both my intuition as a Boy as a film actor and my perspective as a God Father as a film director watching over the actor.
To put it another way, I did not separate these two perspectives and confused them, which led to the following painful experience.
▼As the president, I must be perfect at all times.
▼The joy, anger, pleasure, grief, and naughty ideas in Boy must be stifled.
▼On the other hand, the employees ask me to show more emotions and to express myself more.
But by separating the two perspectives of Boy and God Father and valuing both, the feeling changed to the following.
▼ Although I am in the position of president, I do not have to be perfect as an individual.
▼ If I cannot do something, I can ask someone else to help me.
I should cherish the joy, anger, pleasure, grief, and adventurous ideas in Boy, and express them naturally.
▼ By watching over the Boy from God Father’s point of view, if the Boy is annoying the people around him by acting like a boy, or on the other hand, if the Boy is not acting like a boy because he is too concerned about the people around him, it is possible to manage the situation.
At the time, I was not explicitly aware of the 3+1 Consciousness Model, but I think you will understand that it is essentially the same as perceiving oneself as one is, from the meta-consciousness.
When I think this way, I feel much more relaxed. While accepting myself as I am, I am able to make good use of my position as president, and I am able to work more freely on what I really want to do.
In this article, I discussed the difference between self-trust and self-credit, and talked about self-trust in more depth from the perspective of what it is NOT.
Here are the quests of the day. (If you’d like, please share your thoughts in the comments.)
・For you, what is the difference in texture between the words self-trust and self-credit?
・What is the difference in feeling between the way you are based on self-trust and the way you are based on self-credit?