Which to prioritize, the higher-stage wishes or the lower-stage wishes?

In my previous article, I summarized the differences in the quality of subjective truth depending on the stage of mental maturity, and talked about the importance of capturing one’s subjective truth and wishes with only one thing in mind: whether or not one’s inner energy comes to life.

Within each person, there are multiple wishes. These wishes can take many forms, such as a vision of one’s career future, the ideal image of one’s family, or a desire to contribute to society.

I feel that all of these wishes are wishes that derive from subjective truths, if they come from one’s inner energy, and that it is good to cherish all of them.

The premise is that subjective truth is a synthesis of what is at the purpose level (Why level) within us, and is not something that can be fully expressed in one aspect or one word. It comes to us in many different faces.

As in the previous article, for the sake of distinction, I use the term “subjective truth” as a single thing that has been enlightened by the purpose level within us, and call it a wish, which is the manifestation of the subjective truth in its various faces.

The theme I would like to discuss this time is how to increase the degree to which we can feel our inner energy when we are connected to our own subjective truths and wishes. The degree to which we can feel the inner energy is called “purity” in this article.

The closer we are to the subjective truth, the higher the degree to which we feel the inner energy, so I would like to express “purity” in terms of the strength and closeness of our connection to the subjective truth.

Prioritize fulfilling the wishes of the former stage

I have an assumption that all wishes that come from inner energy should be cherished, but in order to feel more energy, i.e., to increase the purity of subjective truth, I would like to recommend prioritizing wishes and fulfilling them.

As I explained in my previous article about the stages of mental maturity, when we think of them in the order of Socialized Mind (independence < dependence), Socialized Mind (independence > dependence), Self-Authored Mind, and Self-Transforming Mind, we call those in the front the former stages and those in the back the latter stages.

When we have more than one wish in our mind, it is recommended that we fulfill the wishes in the former stages in priority order. To be more specific, I recommend that we fulfill our wishes in the following order of priority: Self-Sovereign Mind, Socialized Mind (independence < dependence), Socialized Mind (independence > dependence), Self-Authored Mind, and Self-Transforming Mind.

When I tell you this, I know that some of you may wonder. Shouldn’t Self-Authored-Mind, and Self-Transforming-Mind wishes be given higher priority because they have a positive impact not only on us but also on the people around us? This question has a point because, as I mentioned before in the contrast between ambition and aspiration, it is easier to gain sympathy when the sphere of influence does not stop with oneself but is open to the people around us.

There are two reasons why I would still recommend that you give priority to Self-Sovereign-Mind, Socialized-Mind wishes. The first reason is that it is the most desperate wish, and if we have a former stage wish, we feel it more desperately than a later stage wish. Therefore, we will have more energy to fulfill that wish.

The second reason is that by fulfilling those wishes, we are able to complete them and move closer to the later stages of our wishes, closer to the pure inner energy that comes from our own subjective truth. There is an aspect of mental maturity where we can only move on to the next stage when we have fulfilled the wishes of the former stage. In fact, it is difficult to move to the next stage without fulfilling the wishes of the previous stage.

For example, let’s say that person A has the following wishes.

▼The moment when I get energized is when I see people changing by fulfilling their wishes.
▼As a job, I would like to be involved in the overall human resource development of the company, listening sincerely to the issues and concerns of the people within the company and helping them to resolve them.
▼In order to achieve this, I want to become proficient in human resource development and coaching so that I can be in charge of planning human resource development within the company.
▼In order to achieve this goal, first of all, I would like to be recognized and respected within the company.

There seem to be wishes of various stages of mental maturity in this. There is no doubt that all of them should be cherished as long as they come from the inner energy, but the ones that should be fulfilled with priority are the ones that are closer to the Self-Sovereign-Mind, Socialized-Mind stages.

In this example, the wish that should be given priority is “First of all, I would like to be recognized and respected within the company. This is most likely the wish that person A will most earnestly want to be aware of on a daily basis. The other wishes are also things that come from inner energy, but the degree of energy is different. There is a difference between the image of water springing up to form a stream and the image of water overflowing like a dam.

In this example, imagine that the wish “to be recognized and respected within the company” has been fulfilled. From the person’s point of view, that wish has already been fulfilled, so it will no longer be included in the list of wishes above. The wish to “be recognized and respected within the company” will naturally disappear from his/her mind.

As we can see, it is very important to take care of our wishes in the former stages. If we pretend that they are not there, or if we recognize them but don’t value them, they may become a shadow that tails off later.

One way to find out what we want to do is to start with what we should do

We talked about the importance of valuing the wishes of the former stage, and in relation to this, I would like to share another perspective on increasing the purity of subjective truth.

It’s about “what we should do” and “what we want to do.” There are many people who have many things to do, but cannot find what they want to do. I often hear people say that they have so many things to do that they don’t have time for what they want to do.

What I want to talk about here is that one way to find out what we want to do is to start with what we should do.

In connection with the earlier discussion of the differences in the texture of wishes depending on the stage of mental maturity, “what I want to do” has the quality of a Self-Authored-Mind wish. “What I should do” has the quality of the Socialized-Mind wish, from the perspective of fulfilling the requests of those around us.

You may be wondering if what we should do has nothing to do with our own wishes, since it is something that is requested by the people around us. As you say, “what we should do” and “what we wish” seem to be two completely different things. However, when we recognize that we should do something, it is also our wish to do it.

For example, let’s say we have a deadline for a job we’re not keen on. Finishing the job by the deadline is a “should do”. However, if we look at it from a different perspective, we realize that by doing what we have to do, we are hoping to meet the expectations of those around us, or to be appreciated. We are the ones who make the choice to do what we need to do. There is a (often Socialized-Mind) wish.

What I want to do: A wish with the quality of Self-Authored Mind
What we should do: A wish with the quality of Socialized Mind

Earlier, I talked about valuing the wishes of the former stage, and in the contrast between “what we should do” and “what we want to do,” it turns out that this is the same as fulfilling the “what we should do” first. As I said, when that wish is fulfilled, it is no longer the destination of our consciousness, and we can move on to the next stage.

In the example of person A earlier, what he/she wants to do is to be involved in the overall human resource development of the company, and what he/she needs to do is to become a person to be recognized and respected.

In person A’s example, “what I want to do” and “what I should do”

▼ What I want to do ( A wish with the quality of Self-Authored Mind):
“I want to be involved in the overall human resource development of my company, and I want to listen sincerely to the issues and concerns of the people in my company and help them resolve them.”

▼ What I should do (A wish with the quality of Socialized Mind):
“First of all, I want to become a person who is recognized within the company so that I can be entrusted with the task of planning human resources development.”

In person A’s case, it was a good idea to work on the “ what I should do” first, when both the “what I want to do” and the “what I should do” are in sight. The same can be said even if you don’t have a clear idea of what you want to do. The first step to discovering what you want to do is to put all your energy into what you need to do.

Incidentally, there is another way of looking at “what I want to do” and “what I should do”: “what has nothing to do with me”. I think it is meaningful to make sure that when you put all your energy into what you “should” do, it is not something that has nothing to do with you, but something that you choose to do.

Satisfying the ego increases purity

Let’s talk about the transition of my own inner energy. I have many different levels of wishes, and they have shifted over time. What I can say is that by fulfilling the wishes of the former stage, or to put it more simply, by fulfilling the egocentric wishes, the purity of the subjective truth increases.

▼The wishes of Self-Sovereign Mind
・I want to do what I like (I don’t want to be forced by external pressure to do something I don’t like).
・I want a house and a car (Showa-era feeling!)
▼The wishes of Socialized Mind
・I want to become a full-fledged consultant (at my previous job).
・I want to acquire skills that can be used anywhere and in any situation (at my previous job).
・I want to be recognized as a full-fledged executive.
・I want to be able to ensure financial independence for my family.
・I want to have a proof of my life (I want to have a proof outside of myself)
▼The wishes of Self-Authored Mind
・To work in education, which provides people with opportunities to make choices.
・To support each and every one of our company ( Alue ) to live in the subjective truth at the same time as I live in the subjective truth.
・To pursue the essence of education and provide services in a way that is easy to understand and spread.
▼The wishes of Self-Transforming Mind
・To contribute to a society where there are many people who live in subjective truth.
・To build a global educational infrastructure to realize SDG4 (quality education for all).

I wrote down the wishes I have had since I became working, and sorted out which stage each wish was at. When I write down my wishes in this way, I am reminded of the various levels of wishes that I have had. I encourage everyone to try this once. I’m sure you will have many insights.

When I first started my business in 2003, I think the center of my consciousness was focused on the wishes of the Self-Sovereign-Mind stage and the Socialized-Mind stage. I’ve been involved in education since I started my business, so I was aware of the wish of self-directed intelligence to provide people with opportunities for choice through education. However, to be honest, it was kind of a theme, or rather, it was not the center of my consciousness, even though it was stated.

Some time has passed since I started my business, and some of the wishes of the Self-Sovereign-Mind stage and the Socialized-Mind stage have been fulfilled. Also, going listed on the stock exchange in 2018 was enough to fulfill some of these wishes. However, there are still some wishes that I can’t say have been completely fulfilled. Rather than pretending that these wishes are not there, I believe that I need to face them with a higher priority.

In terms of my current feeling, I feel that while the wish for the Socialized-Mind stage remains unfulfilled, the wish for the Self-Authored stage is also becoming a source of energy within me. On the other hand, there is still some distance between me and my Self-Transforming wish. (Although I hold it up as the purest expression of subjective truth, there is still a distance.

Looking back on my own experience, I think it was important not to ignore wishes that have a strong egocentric component, such as those in the Self-Sovereign-Mind stage and the Socialized-Mind stage, but to fulfill them if they exist. If I don’t fulfill them, I feel that the connection with the Self-Authored and the Self-Transforming wishes becomes a little diluted, or becomes just like an abstract proposition.

As for the egocentric element, proactively fulfilling it will increase the purity of the subjective truth. Of course, this does not mean that we should satisfy our egocentric elements at all costs, but rather that we should satisfy our egocentric elements while maintaining harmony with our surroundings (e.g., getting along with our family and friends, maintaining a certain level of work, observing laws and moral values, etc.).

In this article, I talked about how to prioritize and fulfill multiple wishes within oneself in order to increase the purity of subjective truth, while still valuing all of them.

Here are the quests of the day. (If you’d like, please share your thoughts in the comments.)

・When you list the wishes you feel now, what are the wishes you should prioritize fulfilling?

・If you were to prioritize fulfilling that wish, what would be the best thing to start, quit, or continue doing?

Bunshiro Ochiai

Founder and CEO of a training company, Alue | MS in Particle Physics. | BCG | Questing “What is the paradigm for integrating contradictions in management?”